The Dark Night

The Dark Night of the Soul is a spiritual concept described by the 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet St. John of the Cross in his treatise Dark Night, a commentary on his poem of the same name. It is a time of spiritual dryness and purification often experienced by those who, as Christ-followers, are pursuing God.

The dark night is characterized by a sense of loss, dryness, and emptiness. One may feel abandoned by God and experience a deep sense of darkness and despair. They may also experience physical and emotional suffering.

However, the dark night is not a punishment from God. It is a necessary part of the spiritual journey. Through the dark night, a person is gradually stripped away of material and selfish things, which is supposed to allow them to become more open to the experience of God's love.

In his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero equates the dark night to confronting a wall. A wall would be something like a divorce, the death of a loved one, job loss, a cancer diagnosis, or betrayal. He contends that a wall is a natural stage of life that everyone experiences. It’s like the seasons; we don’t control them; they just happen. So do walls.  In response to the wall, Scazzero says, “We question ourselves, God, the church. We discover for the first time that our faith does not appear to ‘work.’ We have more questions than answers, as the very foundation of our faith feels like it is on the line. We don’t know where God is, what he is doing, where he is going, how he is getting us there, or when this will be over.” 

I want to propose that not all walls are created equal. Some, I would say, happen due to the fallen world we live in and are natural, albeit sometimes unfair, parts of this journey we call life. For me, the wall I hit was not so much something that happened to me but rather a wall I built—brick by brick brick. Early on, there were opportunities for me to break down the wall because the mortar was still wet. There were times, too, when I could have leaped over the wall because it was small. Yet I kept building. And soon, the wall was too high to scale, too vast to traverse, and too thick to break through on my own. 

The dark night of the soul is a challenging experience but can also be a time of incredible growth and transformation. Those who emerge from it are often stronger, more compassionate, and more deeply connected to God.

If you are experiencing the dark night of the soul, it is essential to remember that you are not alone. Many people have hit the wall and made it through, and there is hope for you.

My dark night met me in the form of addiction. Unmanageable and powerless is where I found myself in the Fall of 2018. I was broken, humiliated, ashamed, and, worse still, I was on the verge of destroying my family. This blog will unpack some of my journey, be peppered with best practices and lessons learned along the way, and be an outlet for me to do what I love to do…write. So I will write, and you will read. But even if you don’t read, I will write. Writers write, right?

I invite you to join me on this journey. You will find this a place of honesty, transparency, and, hopefully, a few tears and laughter along the way. I invite you to look inward as well. Are you in the middle of a dark night or just coming out of one? Together, let’s become stronger, more compassionate, and more deeply connected to God. Join me in our relentless pursuit.