Spoiler Alert
Before starting a book, I do not turn to the last page to see how it ends. For real, those people exist. Savages! In this case, though, I can’t help myself. Truth be told, if you read the story of our relentless pursuit in chronological order, you may, as my favorite band, Needtobreathe, write,
"Beg the book to turn the page
'Cause I get stuck where the villains get away
Somewhere in this wretched tale
There must be a line where the victim get his way, just one time.”-Nathaniel Rinehart / William Rinehart, “Drive All Night” Needtobreathe 2011
Make no mistake, I am the villain of the story. And the ending would have been much different if not for the strength of my wife and a multitude of “but God” moments. You will see “but God” and “relentless pursuit” referenced throughout this blog and website. With that, shall we continue on with the spoiler?
On December 1, 2019, Lisa and I were out for a run together. Training for our second half-marathon, since the mocha hit the fan, we had just started our run. We came to the intersection at the end of our block, where we would decide, “Left or right?” Left meant a long run, and right meant the 2.8-mile loop. My body consistently voted for right, but my spirit always voted for left because that meant more time with Lisa. “I want to start wearing a wedding ring again,” she said as we approached the fork in the road. We went left. And that left turn will forever be a marker for me—a stake-in-the-ground moment. We chose the hard way for our run…she chose the hard way for our relationship. “I want you to propose to me again. And I want the kids to be there. And I want the Lairds and Fitzies to be there. No one else.” I could have run 100 miles that day…ok, at least 10. I was speechless, which anyone who knows me will tell you is impossible. All I knew in that moment was that if she was serious, then this proposal would be special, and the new wedding ring would be…expensive. And I was over the moon about both.
On December 5th, while sitting in a restaurant eating tacos, as any self-respecting Texan does on a day ending in “y,” Lisa said, “I love you, Archie, I do. I really love you.” And on December 7th, holding hands while walking through the grocery store, Lisa squeezed my hand, looked at me and said, “I’m so happy.” I know, HEB is so great, right? Oh, wait. I don’t have the vocabulary to express what these moments meant (mean) to me. Francis of Assisi said, “Blessed is the man who expects nothing because he will be grateful for everything.” In moments like these, I’m reminded of Luke 17:11-19, when Jesus heals the 10 lepers. (Pause here and read it if you’re unfamiliar with it.) He heals 10, and only one returns to say thank you. Dear God, please let me be the one to return.
It wasn’t long before Lisa and I started ring shopping with a friend/jeweler, Marla. Lisa and Marla designed a beautiful ring. A few weeks later, I worked with Marla to get a wax design done to show Lisa and convinced her the ring wouldn't be ready until the new year due to Marla’s busy holiday season. Anyway, the kids and I went into proposal-planning mode. We recruited Heather and Melissa for help and put the plan in motion. Mary Cate was prepared to play her violin with Bono, singing “All I Want is You” in the background. Ellie and I went around the neighborhood picking up every acorn shell we could find because Lisa loves to step on them during our walks “because they make a cool crack sound.” Yeah, she’s the crazy lady standing in front of your house, eyes to the ground, searching for acorn shells to step on. Anyway…we’d have chocolate-covered strawberries, chilled champagne, U2, and rose petals and acorns lining the driveway to the back patio at our home. And our very best friends and kids would be there to witness it.
December 22nd journal entry: Tomorrow, I will ask Lisa to marry me again, and she will say yes. The truth is she has said yes many times over the last 449 days. In the midst of the often wanting to say no, she said yes. In a world that so quickly says no, she said yes. She said yes to trying to forgive someday. Her yes was often blinded by heartache and doubt, but yes, shouted louder, refusing to be silenced. When I ask her to take my hand once again, I will promise to lead her, protect her, and guard her from fear.
Early evening on December 23, 2019, we planned a family outing to see “Elf” at Alamo Drafthouse. It was an “audience participation” event, where you were encouraged to recite the lines aloud. We were given elf hats, cotton balls to throw during the snowball fight, and other treats to complete the theme. While we were gone, my little elves (or besties) were at work setting up our back patio to prepare for the “real” event. Upon our arrival, the kids hurried to the back patio, and Lisa and I made our way up the driveway. She was surprised! She walked across the rose petals, and when she saw the acorn shells, she stopped to crack as many as she could. I directed her to sit in a chair across from me with her eyes closed. As she did, our friends and kids surrounded her, and I read this from my journal:
“Don’t open your eyes yet. Just listen to Hebrews 12:1, ‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who, for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.’ As you open your eyes, you will see the earthly representation of that great cloud of witnesses. When you invited me to propose again the place to do it was obvious. I chose the back patio because this is where we come to meet God each day. He meets me here in silence, in prayer, and the reading of his word, and in worship. He meets me here with you. With you by my side. And tonight, he meets me here with not only you by my side but with those who have been by our side and will always be by our side to say to you, ‘our story isn’t over yet.’ God is still writing. He is still working, molding, and shaping. He’s not done yet. I want you to be by my side for the rest of the days of my life. I promise to love you, protect you, serve you, and choose you every day, so I’m asking you to choose me. (I took a knee and opened the ring box.) Lisa, will you marry me?
“I choose you,” she said as she leaned in and kissed me.
When this story began, I didn’t have the luxury of reading the last page; I had no idea how it would end. I’m glad I didn’t because it made the journey all the richer. Although the featured image for this blog post may read “The End,” it was just the beginning. And so continues our relentless pursuit.
